Introspection was a habit I had inculcated since, well, early teenage if not childhood. I would or at least try to analyse my feelings and their roots, what I felt, why I felt it, what was at the root of it all….during college as I grew older and more mature, I got more involved in delving into my subconscious, or at least that's how I remember those days. My diaries have entries of great psychological insight, into both what I was feeling, and how I was grappling with it.

Down the line, I lost the plot. I guess it was easier to introspect when life was rosier or, at least, the future held better prospects. Now when I see into the future I see a dark void, a deep, desolate despair that I see no way out of. Maybe that's why I have been thinking of the past every so often. And that's why I do not face up to my issues and look at them with a stern eye as I used to. Life just meanders on and I can't seem to steer it into any one direction.

There seems to be so much stagnation at times that I feel I am sinking in quicksand. Where is the fruition of the dreams I had come up with? When did they fall by the wayside? Where was I when the world was marching on? How did I come to be left so far behind?