Wednesday, September 30, 2009

On being nomadic again

Sitting at the airport, starting out on a trip I wish to God I didn’t have to make. One whole month cut off from all I love and care for. One whole month away from all things familiar and comfortable. One whole month in a strange city I fear will be unfriendly and distant. A city moreover, that unfortunately holds very bad associations for me. The site of the 3 most depressing days I’ve ever spent. If there was anyway in the world that I could avoid going I would’ve rushed back home in a hurry.
Is this what age and time does to us? The longer I stay at home, settled and fixed, the harder it is for me to accept the idea of being a peripatetic, again. Half my life I wasn’t a settled creature. Rohtak, Delhi, Chandigarh, back to Rohtak. A small circle for sure, but still it kept me from being too attached to one place. Of course Chd. was an exception but that was more out of nostalgia than anything else. Now after having spent 4 married years in Chd., setting up a house, a home, building a place for my own in this world in a sense, to have to uproot myself and go all the way across the country is hard. My Sunday mornings sprawled on the carpet sipping coffee soaking in the papers, my Saturday evenings with Scotch and serials, the incessant chatter and warm laugh of Seema, the hugs, the kisses, the smiles……. What a whole lot I’m leaving behind! Of course not for ever, but standing at the start of the journey, it certainly seems so.
I guess I’ve always been a homebody. Always felt better coming back home than going away. Travel has always meant a short break to unwind, but I wouldn’t feel bad if I had to do the same without setting foot outside my door either. I always surrounded myself with enough to occupy my mind and that was all that mattered.
I realize that this is a necessary trip I’m making and this one month will go a long way to improve my professional skills. A big sacrifice, but an unavoidable one too. And now that I look at it another way, maybe it isn’t bad to get out a bit too. Maybe I am getting too lazy and this might stir me up a bit. If it have been some other place, any other city…..